We DJs face an even more uncertain year than we are used to, and that’s working in an already unusually flaky industry!

So, I thought I’d explore what transferable skills we might be able to bring to the table if we need to find a way to make ends meet in the time before clubs and venues re-open.

Aircraft Marshall

One of the key skills of any successful DJ is being able to wave your hands in the air, like you just don’t care. This experience could be repurposed to help aircraft to their allotted gates. Also, DJs are used to working in noisy environments, so this aspect will provide no barrier to entry, and our experience of working at unsociable hours mean that those early and late flights will present no problems at all.

Body Language Interpreter

We just mentioned the noise that DJs are used to working around. Well, one of the skills we pick up is a fine sense of reading people’s hand signals and body language. Whether its those girls who have decided that you need to skip this song (usually a rolling hands gesture, or sometimes a hand/throat-slash move), or those guys who want to let you know that they approve with their little glance and nod, DJs have a finely honed instinct for this stuff, and so would easily slip into this industry with success.

Psychic

The best DJs have a 6th sense for what needs to be played next. They are able to peer into the souls of their dancefloor, summon the cosmic energy of JuJu, and pluck the perfect tune for the moment. They have a mastery of knowing what the people want before the people have even realised it. By directing this mystical power towards other areas, DJs could completely dominate the world of clairvoyants.

Diplomatic Envoy

Occasionally we just have to say no to requests. Patrons rarely expect to hear the word “no”, and so there are numerous ways that the DJ community have worked out which enable us to let them down gently, which will avoid the problem escalating. “I’m afraid I don’t have that, great song though!”, “Unfortunately the venue has a strict music policy”, “Ah, I already played that earlier, sorry!”, and many more

Conflict Resolution & Mediation

Sometimes, the problem *does* escalate, often a consequence of a breakdown in communication caused by customers not having our advanced doctorates in Body Language, but instead having a Masters in Being Really Really Drunk And Annoying. We have a limited amount of time before the next track, so need to be expert in de-escalating the extreme frustration of a Lady Gaga fan who just found out that that the hip-hop DJ they are harassing doesn’t have Born This Way. With this skillset properly harnessed, the UN could achieve global peace by 2027.

Logistics Manager

When it comes to multitasking, DJs are 2nd to none. Mixing the next track in, while handling a requester, while texting the promoter to get a group of friends in, while pounding a tequila shot with the bar manager, while mentally planning the next section of the night, while making sure that the DJ booth crew don’t touch anything important… We are constantly spinning plates in a pressure-cooker environment, with no margin for error. Its clear that most DJs would function at an elite-level in a logistics role.

Social Media Manager

A reality of modern DJing is the importance of a strong social media presence. Creating a popular viral video gained me 10k extra likes on my Facebook page in a week, for literally 3 minutes work. The Stanton Warriors took this to the next level, now having well over a million likes on their Facebook page, many drawn their by their brilliant use of memes. DJs with a strong Instagram presence get free products left, right and centre, and the option to do paid advertising via product placement. Taking this knowledge base and applying it to a corporate role is a slam dunk for DJs who need work while the world’s clubs are closed.

Fire Officer

For years, DJs have known how to deal with a situation where the roof, the roof, the roof is on fire. And unlike most fire officers, we don’t need no water. Our solution (let the mothersucker burn) is unconventional, but in an age of disruptors and innovators, I don’t see why that should hold us back in that industry.

Of course, what we all want more than anything is to get back to DJing in clubs, bars and venues as soon as possible!

For now, stay safe and healthy, and keep your musical crates topped up at Heavy Hits. Follow me over on my Instagram